Back From the Dead Red
Here at Killers' Choice Coffee Co., we run things based upon The Pirate Code adapted from those of the Great Pirates who came before us, like Blackbeard, Calico Jack, Black Bart, and Captain Morgan. Those ships were run with an amazing level of fairness and justice, almost unheard of in today's world of Corporate Piracy.
One of our favorite pirates, and the one to whom we dedicate this coffee, was Jacquotte Delahaye, a French/Haitian woman with flaming red hair who could buckle the swash of any man. While there were many other women pirates (and it's believed she was the good friend of at least one of them, Anne Dieu-Le-Veut) she did not hide her womanhood. Both she and Anne did their pirating as proud, bad-ass women.
Jacquotte did have to go undercover for a while after an expedition went sour. She faked her own death and moved around disguised as a man until she could get another ship and crew together. It was then she earned the moniker “Back From the Dead Red,” and she continued her career as the leader of eventually hundreds of pirates. She died defending the small Caribbean island where she and her crew established a true Democracy, a “Freebooter Republic,” where everyone had an equal say and an equal share of the booty.
Pirates were literal killers, but they did achieve a truly democratic society and a freedom to which we should aspire. It is interesting to compare it to today's plundering of the toil of the masses.
The coffee is an organic, whole-bean French roast and will see you through any task at hand. Get enough to share in equal measure with your whole crew. It's the Pirate Way.
If Ye Join the Killers' Choice Coffee Company,
Affirm and Attest these Articles as follows:
Article I. Every Member of the Company has a vote in affairs of moment; has equal title to the fresh provisions, or strong liquors, at any time seized, and may use them at pleasure, unless a scarcity makes it necessary, for the good of all, to vote a retrenchment. In the prizes they take, it is severely prohibited to every one to usurp anything, in particular to themselves...Yea, they make a solemn oath to each other not to abscond, or conceal the least thing they find amongst the prey. If afterwards any one is found unfaithful, who has contravened the said oath, immediately he is separated and turned out of the society.
Article II. Every Member of the Company to be called fairly in turn, by list, on board of prizes because, (over and above their proper share) they are on these occasions allowed a shift of clothes: but if they defraud the Company to the value of a dollar in plate, jewels, or money, marooning will be their punishment. If the robbery is only betwixt one another, they shall content themselves with slitting the ears and nose of them that was guilty, and set them on shore, not in an uninhabited place, but somewhere, where they are sure to encounter hardships.
Article III. No person to game at cards or dice for money. He that is found Guilty of Gaming, or Defrauding one another to the value of a Royal of Plate, shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and the Majority of the Company shall think fit.
Article IV. The lights and candles to be put out at eight o'clock at night: if any of the crew, after that hour still remain inclined for drinking, they are to do it on the open deck.
Article V. Every Member of the Company to keep their piece, pistols, and cutlass clean and fit for service.
Article VI. No boy, girl, man, or woman who is not a Member of the Company to be allowed amongst them. If any Member of the Company are to be found seducing any of the latter sex, and carried her to sea, disguised, they are to suffer death. Should any fall into their hands, they shall put a sentinel immediately over them to prevent ill consequences from so dangerous an instrument of division and quarrel; there shall be a sentinel who, to secure the virtue, will let none lie with them but the sentinel themself.
Article VII. If any Member of the Company shall offer to run away, or keep any Secret from the Company, they shall be marooned with one Bottle of Powder, one Bottle of Water, one small Arm, and Shot.
Article VIII. To desert the ship or their quarters in battle, is punished with death or marooning.
Article IX. No striking one another on board, but every man's quarrels to be ended on shore, at sword and pistol. The quartermaster of the ship, when the parties will not come to any reconciliation, accompanies them on shore with what assistance he thinks proper, and turns the disputants back to back, at so many paces distance; at the word of command, they turn and fire immediately (or else the piece is knocked out of their hands). If both miss, they come to their cutlasses, and then he is declared the victor who draws the first blood.
Article X. No Member of the Company to talk of breaking up their way of living, till each had shared one thousand dollars. If in order to this, any Member of the Company should lose a limb, or become a cripple in their service, they are to have eight hundred dollars, out of the public stock, and for lesser hurts, proportionately.
Article XI. The Captain and Quartermaster to receive two shares of a prize: the master, boatswain, and gunner, one share and a half, and other officers one and a quarter. Every Member of the Company shall obey civil Command; the Captain and shall have one full share of all Prizes. The fund of all payments under the articles is the stock of what is gotten by the expedition, following the same law as other pirates, that is, “No prey, no pay.”
Article XII. The musicians to have rest on the Sabbath Day, but the other six days and nights, none without special favour.
Article XIII. If any Member of the Company shall steal any Thing in the Company, or game, to the Value of a Piece of Eight, they shall be marooned or shot.
Article XIV. If any time we shall meet another Marooner and they shall sign these Articles without the Consent of our Company, they shall suffer such Punishment as the Captain and Company shall think fit.
Article XV. That Member of the Company who shall strike another whilst these Articles are in force, shall receive Moses’ Law (that is, 40 Stripes lacking one) on the bare Back.
Article XVI. That Member of the Company that shall snap their Arms, or smoke Tobacco in the Hold, without a Cap to their Pipe, or carry a Candle lighted without a Lantern, shall suffer the same Punishment as in the former Article. No snapping of Guns in the Hold.
Article XVII. That any Member of the Company shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect their Business, shall be cut off from their Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and the Company shall think fit.
Article XVIII. If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Member of the Company that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer present Death.
Article XIX. He that shall be found guilty of taking up any Unlawful Weapon on Board the Privateer or any other prize by us taken, so as to Strike or Abuse one another in any regard, shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and the Majority of the Company shall see fit.
Article XX. They that shall be found Guilty of Cowardice in the time of engagements shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and the Majority of the Company shall think fit.
Article XXI. If any Gold, Jewels, Silver, &c. be found on Board of any Prize or Prizes to the value of a Piece of Eight, & the finder do not deliver it to the Quarter Master in the space of 24 hours he shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and the Majority of the Company shall think fit.
Article XXII. Good Quarters to be given when Craved.
Article XXIII. Them that sees a Sail first, shall have the best Pistol or Small Arm aboard of her.
Article XXIV. A Member of the Company that shall be guilty of Drunkenness in time of Engagement shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and Majority of the Company shall think fit. That every Member of the Company shall obey their commander in all respects, as if the ship was their own, and as if they received monthly wages.
Article XXV. That no Member of the Company shall give, or dispose of, the ship's provisions; but every one shall have an equal share.
Article XXVI. That no Member of the Company shall open, or declare to any person or persons, who they are, or what designs they are upon; and any persons so offending shall be punished with immediate death.
Article XXVII. That no Member of the Company shall go on shore till the ship is off the ground, and in readiness to put to sea.
Article XXIX. That every Member of the Company shall keep their watch night and day; and at the hour of eight in the evening, every one shall retire from gaming and drinking, in order to attend their respective station.
Article XXX. Every person who shall offend against any of these articles shall be punished with death, or in such other manner as the ship's Company shall think proper.
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